Michael Webb

[shane]

Most of you probably didn't know him; he would've been in our class had he lived. He was brilliant, handsome, a good friend. People couldn't help but be attracted to him.

One night, in Fall 1982, Michael, myself and George Frentz (moved away before high school) snuck out of my house one night, pushed my parents' car out the driveway and drove to Folsom, looking for someone's house (girl-crazy 14 year-olds). Michael had a learner's permit, so he drove and we took a 2-liter bottle of Coke with us to keep ourselves awake. We never did find that house.

Michael's mother had a fountain erected in Bogue Falaya Park in his memory. There is never a time I visit the park, regardless of the occasion, that I don't take a moment to go to his fountain, take a drink and remember him.

Shane

Ironically, Bogue Falaya is the last place I saw Darius as well.

[ccoopermetz]

I remember in 9th grade around halloween, Celeste Grevemberg had a party (her house was next to Pinecrest Cemetary in Covington) and all the boys including Michael played a game of tag in the cemetary late that night. It was too eerie for the girls but we thought ya'll were nuts!
Sadly, I'll never forget coming to school that same year in march and being told that he died the night before. Very tragic.

[mark]

I was in Ms. Whittington's English class when many of us found out about Michael. Not long before, Michael had a superbowl party at his house. It was the Dolphins against the Raiders (I think). I asked several times where "Micaaa Webb" was in a lighthearted manner when I didn't see him in class that morning and George Frentz was a bit overcome and blurted "He's dead!" If everyone in the class didn't know before me they did after that.

I remember sitting in front of William Pitcher with you Shane, and someone else (Jon?). Maybe we did something with the flag? Shane, I think you were pretty broken up. Did school end early? George and I were decent friends and I was over at his house not long after and he was erratic. I think it had a profound effect on George. I just stayed in shock for a week then moved on...life is kind of cruel that way. Michael and I were friends but not close friends. I have never wept. I just feel sad when I think about him and I still remember him well.

His mom, Judy Webb, married my Uncle for a while and she had a close relationship with my wife Noel during the time when Michael died. I think Noel helped her alot. Michael had everything to live for making the tragedy all the harder to understand...some wounds never fully heal. As a father of four now, I can't think of a worse thing for a parent to go through either. I am thankful for the time I had with Michael...we just needed more years with him.

[Angie]

The weekend before Michael died I recall a party at his house? It seems he threw a goodbye party, but we all thought it was just a party and I don't remember much about it, but I remember getting in trouble for going because my parents were out of town that weekend and they checked the mileage on the car. I think I had just gotten my license.

I was in Ms. Stroud's French class when I heard the news over the loudspeaker or someone came into the class and told us. I can't remember how that happened, but Joelle completely lost it. Most of us went home that morning. I remember feeling detached, but over the years I have thought about Michael and his family often and how horrible it must have been for them. I can feel more sadness today about it than I did back then...maybe because I am a mom now.

Since his death, I have run into Michael's mom a few times and she was tearful each time. It is such a reality check for her to see any of us from the Class of 86 and it is a painful reminder of Michael's awesome potential. I am almost certain that seeing any of the newspaper announcements about our reunion will send her back. It would be nice to at least have his brother there. Hopefully, David and Melinda can make it.

[Tiffany]

Do you mind me asking how he died? Did he take his own life? Shane made it sound like it may have been a car accident though? Were you with him when he died, Shane? I'm just really curious. I didn't know him because I didn't get to Covington until 84.

[shane]

Michael took his own life in his home.

I remember the party, too, Angie. I think it was a going away party for Heather (his girlfriend) who was moving.

And I remember the morning we all found out. As word started to filter around the classes. I remember a group of people in the back of class were very quiet and morose; I wondered what the problem was. And I remember feeling like a heel when I found out. We all went home early that day.

I remember the service. I remember going to his grandparents house to scatter his ashes in the river. I remember the pain at the loss of my friend, I saw that same pain on the faces of my friends and knowing, maybe for the first time in my young life, what having a friend really means.

With everything we've all experienced in our lives, with all the different directions our lives have taken us, losing Michael when we did, how we did, is a bond we'll always have between us. I don't like the price I had to pay for it, but I'm glad its there.

Shane

[Julie Mathies]

I too was in Mrs. Whittington's class when the news was heard. Michael sat right next to me and I remember it strange that he was not in his desk that day. I remember going to the Memorial Service, but it was so packed that we were never able to get into the church. If I remember right, I believe Michael was cremated.

I've carried a lot of guilt with me through the years over Michael's death.....don't know if anyone remembers, but Michael had a "spaghetti dinner" and no one he invited went (except for maybe George Frentz), and I've always wondered if I would have gone to his dinner, maybe he would still be with us. I know, one of those crazy thoughts that sticks with you.....I probably couldn've used some therapy over that!

I was so thrilled the day Mrs. Webb called me and invited me to the dedication of the fountain at the park. Like Shane, I never go to the park without visiting the fountain.

Thanks Shane for sharing the picture of Michael.

[JonBarton]

Michael was one of my closest friends at the time. If I remember, he had recently won the State Science Fair, Sr. division as a freshman with his Robotic Dog? I called him the Friday before his death(Sunday night) to tell him I would not be able to attend his party that night. He told me " Don't worry, we're having another next Friday". He seemed happy.

That is still one of the biggest mysteries of my life. I just don't recall any signs of depression (or even discouragement) or any of the the classic things (like withdrawal, alienation), etc. that usually show before a suicide. Except for his girlfriend moving away, I just can't figure why. I still often wonder if it was an accident. I was told he left no "note".

I remember before school that day Rob Earnst telling someone in a not very nice way that Michael was in the 'morgue'. I hated him (temporarily) for the way he said it, and didn't believe him, but it gave me a sick feeling. Then the bell rang and we all went to Ms. Whittington's Class. Reality seemed to sink in to each person one by one, and people were leaving the class, as did I. My Mom worked on the South Shore, so I knew she couldn't come get me anytime soon, So I called Mike Morris who was my friend and Local Youth for Christ director. I walked out to those big beautiful Live Oaks in front of WPJH, and bawled my eyes out. I had become a Christian 3 months before. I struggled to cope the the sick sense of sensless loss that we all felt. Mike picked me up a few minutes later. When we got back to his house, I noticed He had left his breakfast uneaten to pick me up...cold eggs and toast with one bite missing still on his plate. It touched me that he cared about me so much to have left his breakfast. I spent the day hanging out with him, and among other things, He comforted me with Psalm 23. "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for Thou are with me..." That day more than ever before, I experienced that God is real, cares about each of us, and He comforted me and was near to me that day.

[jnichel]

I didn't know Michael, but I know what it feels like when someone close to you commits suicide. I was quite a bit older when I went thru it; I can't imagine what it would have been like to experience an event like this at the age y'all were.

[ccoopermetz]

while it sounds crazy and it is, i still owe michael 35 cents. he had loaned me money for the concession stand the friday before he died.
suicide at 14 seems surreal. as many of you know, i went thru its effects twice since then. at any age, it is the worst thing you can do to your family and friends. i wish michael had been able to see the hope the next day would have brought. his death had a profound affect on all of us.

[Robin]

The smile faded, and now the finger are shaking and the heart's pounding. Mrs. Webb called and specifically asked that I come to the Park for the fountain dedication, asked me to say a few words. I wouldn't even go. I was still angry. (And that was several years later - someone help me remember when.) I found out from Robbie Fielding, who's dad worked at the funeral home. And the only emotion I really remember from that day is the disbelief when George Frentz walked up to me before we had even gotten to english class and yelled at me "He never even liked you!" Michael and I had "co-hosted" that party the Saturday night before and the last time I spoke with him was on Sunday afternoon when I called to see if he needed help cleaning up. Heather had already move to Pennsylvania a couple of weeks earlier. I really hate the memories all that evokes.

I know you and Michael were, close, Jon. I was glad to read that you had something of a positive experience associated with that day.

[JonBarton]

Robin, I dealt with a lot of anger too. It took a long time to get over it. honestly, I was angry with Michael for years after for not talking to me, or somebody about whatever was bothering him and for concealing it so well. I was especially angry that he would have hurt Judy and David in such an irrevocable way, not to mention the rest of us. Suicide is a very selfish act. I'm still so in the dark about why he did it, and the absence of any of the classic symptoms, that I still wonder if it was actually an accident. Heaven only knows.

[Robin]

Alternatives to suicide have crossed my mind as well.

[bazers]

I cant believe after all these years there is actually a forum to discuss this. I haven't really talked with anyone about it except my wife.

Michael and I were best friends for several years except perhaps the year or so before his death. We lived fairly close to each other, first on 11th Street and then when he moved we would ride bikes to each others houses and have sleepovers, make projects, play Risk and do other stuff. Mrs. Webb called me her *3rd son* and I always called her mom.

Since I knew Michael so well I could see quite a change in him the few months and weeks and days before his death. Some were subtle, others not so much so. Now that I know the signs, I really get upset that I didnt talk with Michael about what was going on.

Shortly before he died (dont remember the time frame) Michael began referring to himself as "God". He had been having a fight with his mom over going to the church they grew up in and he was having the typical teen rebellion over that. He was thinking and exploring his spiritual nature in a way he had never done before -- which of course is not bad. He was obviously thinking about the elements of life and death.

He suddenly started wanting to get in fist fights with other kids in school, which was very uncharacteristic of him up until that point. He wasn't the same Michael I was so close to for so many years.

A few weeks before his death, he started giving away some of his possessions. It is funny but I cant even remember now the things he gave to me. But after it all happened I realized that was a classic sign.

Shortly before his suicide I was spending the night at Michael's and he talked a bit about the suicide of another kid in the same neighborhood where he lived. He seemed quite fascinated by the whole drama.

And of course there was the big party before he took his life.

Naturall Michael was saddened over the recent moves of Heather, his girlfriend and another good friend, Johnny Wilkes.

For all the answers I think I have, I have just as many questions. I really don't doubt that he took his own life, but I wonder what other factors were involved. I have some suspicions, but that is all they are.

At least once a year I have this dream that Michael staged his death and ran away for a number of years and finally returned. I dont know if it is simple wishful thinking on my behalf or because I really didnt have much closure as I was too hurt and upset and out of it to attend the memorial service.

What I found most upsetting is that Michael had probably the most potential of any of us at school. I often thought that I would have never been Jr. and Sr. Class President if Michael were still alive. He would have trounced me (and I would have never run against him). He had the looks, the brains and the leadership ability to do almost anything that he wanted.

But as time goes on I often think back on Michael and realize that it isnt our looks, brains or standing among peers that gives us hope and joy. Michael seemed to have it all but obviously he wasnt happy at that stage in his life. We all must look to something else to fill the void that each of us has.

Like Jon, I found my strong faith in God and my belief that I will see Michael again, as the factors that gave me comfort during this event that forever altered my world.

Michael still lives on in the precious memories we have of him and I look forward to the day that I can let him know just how much I missed him.

Shane Bazer

[jnichel]

Since I knew Michael so well I could see quite a change in him the few months and weeks and days before his death. Some were subtle, others not so much so. Now that I know the signs, I really get upset that I didnt talk with Michael about what was going on.

Shane,

I went thru this for a few years after my father killed himself. Even though we didn't have much contact prior to him shooting himself, when we did, he gave off some of the classic signs. Two events stand out to me this day, both happening on the same weekend. I was staying at his house in Folsom (down from Baton Rouge) for my cousin's wedding. The night before the wedding, we were watching Lethal Weapon, and during the scene at the begining where Mel Gibson is alone in his 'house', putting the gun to his head, and in his mouth, my father got up, and left the room for a minute. He came back a few moments later with one of his own pistols, and a single hollow point bullet, handed them to me, pointed to the TV and told me that he was prepared like Mel. I laughed it off, and said something like, 'Yeah dad, whatever. Want another beer?'. The other event was after the wedding was over. I had gotten all my stuff together, loaded up on my bike, and was getting ready to leave when my father came out of the house. He walked up to me, put his arm around me (something he hadn't done in years), and told me, 'One last piece of advice; Get rid of the bike before it kills you.' (he had been in a near fatal bike wreck years before) (how prophetic the advice was is another story, pretty creepy too, if y'all want, I'll start a new thread to tell that one). Again, I laughed it off, told him I had to go, got on my bike, started it up and rode away.

Less than three weeks later, my mother calls me to tell me that my father shot himself. As soon as I heard the words over the phone, I flashed to those two moments, and thought to myself that I could have stopped it. For some time after it, I even let myself believe that my lack of action was the reason he was dead. I really didn't miss him, but the impact of his death on my sister weighed heavily on me for a long time. It took some time, but I came to the conclusion that it wasn't my fault, and I would no longer take any of the blame for his selfish act. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not worth getting upset over your actions in someone else's suicide. It's not your fault, and you're not to blame in any way, shape or form.